Suppose is there is an actual battle of the sexes. An open season for war is declared- men abandon their tuxedos and put on the loins cloth, the women abandon their designer clothes, Gucci handbags, versace necklaces and trade them for knee-length leather boots, furry jackets, and bows and quivers. The rule is very plain and concise; one gender must survive so terminate the other.
The two antagonist must meet at the fighting ground which is situated next to a river Hope, that is deep and muddy. The banks of the river are covered with penetrable thickets of bushes. Here each gender will meet its fate .
As prophesied by the wizard of third order, once the moon the reaches its peak , aided by the magic of peaked moon the women would win. And so there it was- a peaked moon and dominion for country women.
There are battle wounds like- lipstick smudges, one braid fell off and left its sisters, one heel broke, data bundle depleted because before the battle you were instagramming live and you forgot to go offline. No, seriously though, the battle ship is wrecked and it has to be left behind on the island. It would forever be a record of fatal voyage.
Normally I would say if you are having these kinds of thoughts just lock yourself in a room and wait for the drugs to wear off. But if you are interested in where this is going let’s proceed-
Let’s have a comprehensive review of the world we have predisposed ourselves to-
Well at first times passes pleasantly. Everything is gold and ivory. The inhabitants are flattered by their achievements; no dirty socks littered around, no rambles on why you wore a short dress , you forget about the tedious hours of waiting for him to get home, no howling on the streets,no curfews. Everything is as expected- perfect.
Then in due time, this begins to happen;
For one, some professions would not live to exist while others would be blooming. Take an instance of a security officer, what would be their use? You can insult other women by calling them names or body shaming and they will avoid you and your bank, so no theft .(While we are at it body shaming should not be encouraged in real life).
Some professions like guidance counselors or self-development educators would be making kingly sums.
Two, low football viewership. Some of y’all women don’t care two cents about football or what the Arsenal goal keeper did. Yes you don’t. If you did you would know some of these female footballers by name and the clubs they play for. But you don’t because you watch men football for the adrenaline.
Three, replacement of traffic lights colors to nude. Ever since the nude hue was graced to fashion, it has been used to the point of extinction. A nude lipstick, a nude nail polish. Imagine being at an intersection of traffic lights , still running your car waiting for the hue to change from nude to nude.
It’s even way worse when everyone is stranded at the intersection. The cars are waiting for the go ahead, the pedestrians all waiting for the go ahead… the nude light glares. Huh, so is it go for the car or the pedestrian?
Four, Men perfumes are arguably deeply and better scented. Be honest, we tend to show inordinate preference to them while at the shop stalls. Surely with the thinning ozone layer and hot sweaty days, we need this perfumes.
The universe unfolds itself in each of us and an end to primal life is a huge blow to the universe. There needs to be procreation to give rise to another generation.
The positive effect is that women will finally have a heart to heart to conversation since they are stuck together.
There will be no , “This is why I hang out with the boys, they gat no attitude” lament. By force by fire women will have a peaceful coexistence.
Also minimized accusations of malpractice. Over the course of years there has been revelations on the objectionable behavior on women get ahead in workplaces by sleeping their way to the top. There would decline in this graph. And people would actually have to put effort to up their odds of making it.
In hindsight, there is irrefutable proof that women aren’t perfect neither are men. But in tiny little ways each gender is important. Accepting each gender despite their flaws and remembering they’ve been helpful at some point is counterbalanced.
A broad view of the demise of gender brings me to the conclusion that assuming on gender is better than the other is a faulty judgement. Some of the biggest contributions in life were made possible by men. Including the contribution of you being in existence.
Am thinking of Thomas Edison with his invention of practical electric light bulb. The poet Rumi with amazing quotes such as “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today am wise so am changing myself”
.Mark Zuckerberg with the creation of Facebook app. Elon Musk, Alan Watts, Nikola Tesla, Dedan Kimathi, Ronald Ngala, Nelson Mandela. Am thinking of every dad who has been part of his child’s life. Every uncle, brother, who has brightened your day at some point. Remarkable men who changed the course of history.
Genders are interdependent, intertwined , to ascertain this fact is to be halfway there in recognizing every life on earth is important.
Next time, a taking us on another bewilderment, an imagination of a world with men only.