When we fall in love we carry with us this cardinal hope- to last forever with our partner and achieve greatness together. There is that requisite prayer that maybe the universe will spare you so maybe you won’t have to go through a five-star rated heart break, like everyone else. One cold morning, your sacred dreams of having someone to love and to hold are shattered with a tersely worded text that reads: I don’t feel the same anymore, blah! Blah! Blah!
Heart breaks are inevitable. And the new reality of modern love is that we no longer want to fix something that isn’t working, we want to throw it away. We want an irreplaceable love story but quickly replace lovers. We purr on our stimulus’s, wanting instant gratification for our appetite and our partners.
There’s that infamous saying granted to a bleeding heart- the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Following this advice could land you into the hands of a hormone-crazed boy or girl, and you might end up right where you started- with a broken heart. Jumping into new relationship is barely the golden ticket it has been presented to be .
Let’s contravene this ideology that has been reiterated so many times to the point that people actually embody it. Sure, some people have succeeded through its cracks but what are the chances that the vast majority of relationships will thrive on dumb luck. Very minimal.
The most potent tool in maintaining a relationship quo is first being in a good place yourself- at least emotionally and psychologically. Two people with unresolved emotional issues often make for a painstaking love ride. You can’t conjure up being a good partner out of thin air /in a few minutes and offer it to your new partner. Some things require that we take serene time to self-analyze, review our behavior patterns, realize our personal traumas and we how can heal them before we let innocent souls back in our lives.
Carl Jung famously said ,”Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.” The war against our demons is won after we realize ourselves not when we hide under societal narratives. Some of them are horribly wrong and our lives could go horribly wrong if we pursue them.
We should normalize dissuading people from pursuing certain courses of action if they are not in the right space for it. No, it’s not normal to jump into three different relationships in a month. Devote yourself into finding a solution to your emptiness instead of seeking the dubious idolatry of being sexually satisfied.
The relentless bombardment with messages from friends and onlookers meant to morph us into ‘tough guy’ or ‘bad girl’ to generate jealousy from our exes doesn’t help you, it only hurts you. You hardly will be fulfilled as you try to live up to a certain facade .
Happiness comes from within, no-one can give it to you. So stop rushing to someone’s arms else rush to your heart.