Types of students

photo credit: pinc_camera

In C.R.E classes we were taught that there are four stages of our life time; birth, initiation, marriage, and death. And I really think schooling should earn a permanent slot on that list, no reason needed, just because….

The best part about school is meeting people from different classes, races, tribes, speaking different languages and you sit there and observe them.

Here’s my classification on the types of students;


This is my personal favorite. These students never know what time it is, what country we are in, when and when the lectures are taking place, but somehow they manage.

They have the super power of being completely unaware.

Look at this conversation.

Class rep: “Adam, hello sasa, mwalimu wa Economics ameniambia nicontact kila mtu mwenye hakufanya CAT , akasema mumuone friday.”

Adam: When was the CAT kweni?

Class rep: last week Monday.

Adam: Kweni kumekuwa na classes on Monday.

Class rep: Yeah, unit ya Economics

Adam: Kwanini tunafanya Economics na sisi hatusomei story za business.

One prayer: Lord have mercy.


They grunt, they holler, they always talking about something unrelated to what the teacher is saying.

Back bench is the place to be if you have no mood for the class but you also wanna attend the class- you get what am saying right?

Mid between the lessons, the lecturer must stop and say: can we have some silence from the back.

You request the back-benchers for their silence, you don’t order them. Even mwalimu knows.


Gone are the days when photo taking was reserved for specific events. Now everything must be photographed even in class especially the new ball point, or the new page you are about to write on, even the bubble gum you are about to chew in class.

They also happen to ever be online on whats-app and this is beneficial in case you need direction to class.


They perform magic, one minute you see them one minute you don’t, abracadabra. This week you see them next three weeks you don’t.

If school doesn’t work out they could try some Harry Houdini tricks and make careers out of performing magic acts.


For anyone who will one day grace the halls of campus, I wish this students unto you. They readily do all the assignments, readily help you out when stuck , and they will help you come up with ideas for the projects. There is a special place in heaven for them.

As a matter of fact, you should include them in your graduation appreciation list.

p.s: these kinda students don’t like it when you take advantage of them.


Some students are never late to class, always in good terms with the faculty, never miss their classes, do their research assignment in the library not on google (I Low-key, I admire them).

The kinda students you look at and are wowed. The kinda students you would trust with your life. You would vote for them if they ever try their chances in politics.

Oh how I admire them.




I don’t who needs to hear this but… stop neglecting your dustbin.

By the way why is a dustbin called a dustbin whereas it holds more dirt than dust?

Let’s re-assess your habit resume; spreading the bed-check, brushing your teeth-check, cleaning the house- check, cook food and cleaning dishes- check. Emptying your dustbin after overloading it with cartons, stale fruit, empty bottles, last snippets of soap, broken glass- no check.

We promise our dustbins the world and never fulfill our promises. We say to it,”Soon as am back from church,I’ll empty you.”

The dustbin awaits your return. It is hopeful that the word of God will seep right through you and finally you will act accordingly. You come back four hours later with a shopping bag in your hands, a thorough assessment of the contents inside reveal a bunch of bananas, 3 mangoes, 2 apples, kale which you place on the kitchen counter. You peel off the fruits and slice them to make fruit pudding. The peelings end up in the dustbin, which is looking at you with puppy eyes only for you to end up saying ,”lemme first eat the pudding then I’ll empty the bin later.”

The dustbin looks at you and how you have changed in unsettling ways. When you first met, it was love at first sight, like something out of a romantic movie, you said, “Aki, nimefall in love with this dustbin . It’s so cute, am buying it. And I will always take care of it.”. Now, it can’t even recognize the person you’ve become.

Then Monday morning comes, you are blasting this song through your speakers; Oh you don’t have to worry and you don’t have to be afraid, joy comes in the morning, trouble don’t last always. There you go again giving mixed signals to the bin. It watches you clean up, dress up and repeat your mantra, “Oh nikirudi nitacome ku-empty.”

Karma is coming for you. This is what is going to happen during your day; people not replying to your texts after they promised they will, people forgetting to call you back, people forgetting to give back the jacket they borrowed and you are going to sit and wonder, “Why do people keep forgetting about me and my stuff.” Aha!That’s karma right there.

You need to hear this, your house hold items got feelings too and you hurt them every time you don’t commit to your responsibility. Especially that heap of dirty clothes you promised to wash. Matter of fact, the clothes in your briefcase you promised to fold and arrange neatly (rich people with them closets can’t relate).

This is a bit personal, but you have to read on the blogs and watch you tube channels of your friends, like you promised.

And while we are at it before the day is over, EMPTY THAT BIN BROTHER/SISTER.

Oops! I did it again.

(Cue in clapping) I admire myself and my ability to re-live situations. You would think the scars I have shoulda taught me something… well they have, and against my better judgement I find myself committing these crimes, time and again.

It’s not that I take pride in this flawed pattern of behavior, no, I actually reprimand myself. I look myself in the mirror and be like, “girl no, aim higher!”

I still get into mind tangles every time I go off the rails of my ethical guidelines. It goes something like, “Hinga, on the count of three divert from walking into the bakery. No, no, no, you said one cookie yesterday and the day before that. Stop justifying today as the last day.” Somehow still I end up buying something from the bakery.

We have all taken a plunge into something, swearing off a situation and ending right back in the middle of it. But we hope to be different tomorrow dearly wishing our uncivilized side will have departed. It doesn’t.

One process that we boldly swear off and swim right back is through – PROCRASTINATION. I have to address this because- how many times do you buff your mirror with a cloth, smile back at the person staring at you, then you outline the chores for the day only to end up doing just one thing. And that one thing is watching a complete series. Suddenly- (after one month) the class assignment is due and you ain’t written a damn thing. You haven’t even outlined the hypothesis of your topic.

What’s even worse is you procrastinate every semester for 4 years.

There is an urban saying that goes, “Borrowing money is easy but paying back is a task.” Yeah I know this one all too well. I have been on both ends- the borrower and the borrowed. Neither side of the see-saw is good, I’ll tell you that much.

You ever borrowed someone some money and they referenced you as the reason they ain’t billionaires yet. Like c’mon it was 5 minutes ago.

These comments hurt your ego and you swear you will make it in your career in about two weeks and everyone who treated you like trash is gonna regret it. Two weeks come and go… the money problems come and stay(these problems never go)…You are not yet the millionaire you’d hoped, so you have to ask for financial support again.

It is extra-hard when you have to lend money back to people who never pay back on time and require a court subpoena to give back what they owe you. Some things should be common sense. The fundamental policy of borrowing is respecting a deadline.

Street philosophers before us have written and said quotes that are world sensational. One famous word is, “Stay out of two people business.”Polemical articles by experts have been written about it. Even a 2 month old baby knows it- the last time they cried while papa and mama were fighting they did not get picked up or soothed. Everybody knows.

Not you. Something inside tells you you are a freelancer in life, you abide not to the rules. As the god/goddess of love you are, you unflinchingly dive your nose in to their distraught love affair.

One at a time, you take strolls by the park with them. Each telling you a different version of events and you advice accordingly. Months later, a story resurfaces- you were the villain trying to break them apart.

You question your involvement and vow to never be the third wheel in a partnership before. The universe honors your wish for a while then boom one of your crew’s member relationship start to fall apart, all logic warns you against engaging. Then again you can’t suppress the urge of not helping your friend, so you ask: what happened?. Three hours later you are up to date with every detail and are taking sides . Middle through the arguments, you sense it, how all this is gonna come to bite you back.

To call this insane is charitable. The hitch here is that we can’t seem to show restraint even after failing on the first lesson. In reality and imagination we repeat patterns unconsciously and they lead us back to the same loop.

To transition from this state we have to change from inside out. Observe yourself as you carry out your activities and find your triggers. Check how you spend your money , limit your expenditure that way you probably won’t need to keep borrowing funds. Stay away from things that don’t concern you and plan ahead – teach your mind and body to stick to laid activities. With time it becomes a habit.